Kingdom Insanity 2
by RedBlackandWhite
Summary: Another I got sucked into the game story? I think not. NOT CENTERED ON OCs AT ALL. Basically I just make fun of everything. Or at least try to. Riku and Sora's hair situations, Kairi is nowhere and WHOSE LINE INTERLUDES every 5th chapters. Spoilers.
1. Messing With the Voice & annoying intros

**Kingdom Insanity**

By RedBlackandWhite

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A/N: Hey this is my second fanfic I hope u like it or ill cry.

Sora: He's serious.

Kairi: If you tell him you hate it then we'll have to comfort him for 10 hours straight!

Riku: holding up a HELP US sign

On with the fanfic!

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**Messing With the Voice and Annoying Intros**

Ok so I was on my PS2 playing Kingdom Hearts 2 for the second time and was fighting the last boss. "Die XEMNAS DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" I said as I maniacally bashed away at him. Okay so you're probably thinking that I have no life, but you're WRONG, WRONG I TELL YOU! I do have a life. I just choose to let the world suffer without my numerous talents and instead spend hours playing this video game 'cuz it's awesome. Anyway all of the sudden the PS2 goes blank.

"WTF! Ahhhh!" I maniacally sob until I hear a voice. _Shut up! Stop crying! How am I supposed to tell you that you're going to be sucked into the game if you DON'T SHUT UP!_ "Hey, well _some_ disembodied voice got off the wrong side of the bed this morning." I said. _Silence, ugh I knew they picked the wrong voice for this…_ moans the voice. "Hey, is that you, Demyx?" _AHHHHH how dare you call me Demyx, that is an INSULT. I hate that little stupid guitarist moron! Woah, ok, calm down. You have been chosen to help the keyblade-bearer on his second journey…_ "Ok, sounds cool." _What? You don't have any questions that I get to refuse to answer just to make you're life miserable?_ "Hmmmm, nope." _WHAT? But that's always fun. Hmph._ " Ok, am I going to be forcibly sucked into the game this century or not?" _Hm? Oh fine. snaps fingers (which is impossible cause it's a voice)_ "AHHHHHHH!" I scream as the game pulls me in. Soon everything went black.

I woke up and I saw that I was at The Awakening. I ran up the glass steps to the next platform (I mean what else am I supposed to do?) and saw that it was a glass floor with Sora, Kairi, Riku, Donald, and Goofy. Then the voice came back. _Now for you to choose your weapon._ "Sweet." I said. _What is it with you? Sora was so much more fun to confuse._

Then all of the sudden a keyblade appeared out of nowhere. _Take it now._ "WHAT? A keyblade? Gee, how original. I want something different!" I whined. _AHH I swear I should smite you right now. Fine. _Then 2 silver Way To The Dawns appeared in my hands, except I was holding them backwards. (A/N: I know that Way To The Dawn is a keyblade, but its less of one compared to Sora's (at least that's what I think, plus it's used by Riku.)).

"Awesome." I said, completely in awe. _Now you must choose a pillar. _3 pillars appeared a sword, a staff, and a shield (A/N: I hope all of you who are reading this know how this works or leave now). I picked the sword like always. _Good, now you must pick one to..._ I had already kicked the shield away. "Hurry up! I don't have all day." _How rude. Now that you have your equipment, your journey shall begin, remember to never lose your light._

"HOLD IT!" I scream. "Where the heck is the Darkside? HM?" _Oh he's on vacation, he got tired of getting his butt kicked all the time and the producers gave him 2 weeks off._ "Fine." I murmur. A door appeared. _After you… _Snickered the voice. I opened the door and walked through. A bright light engulfed everything.

I opened my eyes. I was in the Basement Corridor next to Sora's Pod Room in Twilight Town.

I heard footsteps and hid behind a pod. The owner of the footsteps was Roxas. The blond was looking very angry and had his keyblade already out, so I decided against getting his attention. He ran into the Pod room and I followed. DiZ appeared and they had their angry conversation. After that Roxas talked to Sora's sleeping figure. Roxas then disappeared.

An opening sound followed and I realized it was Donald and Goofy waking up, so I had to hide again, which was getting old fast. I watched them follow Roxa's footsteps into the Pod room. I heard Donald's nasal voice scream out to Sora, and watched as his Pod opened again. He woke up and I sniggered at his appearance (A/N: Sorry its just everytime I play that part his outfit is hilarious because it's so small) The 3 had their reunion (which wasn't really a reunion cause they were just sleeping one room apart for a year). They decided to leave and they started for the door.

This seemed like an opportune moment to make myself noticed, so I jumped out and screamed "HI THERE!" Sora and Co. screamed and drew their weapons. "Wait no! I'm here to help!" I exclaimed. They chose not to move. "Well maybe we don't need your help." Retorted Sora. "Well SOMEBODY is cranky from their nap, aren't they?" "Anyway the mysterious voice told me I had to help you, so we might as well get off on the right foot." I said, holding out my hand. This made them drop their weapons. Sora seemed to be pondering while Donald was shooting me uncertain daggers.

"Gawrsh Sora, he seems friendly, why not, the more the merrier!" said (take 3 guesses) the peacemaker Goofy. Sora broke into a smile and did his trademark hands-behind-the-head move. "Sure why not?" Sora glanced at Donald and the duck finally broke down too. Sora took my hand and shook it. "The names Sora" He said. _No really?_ I thought, but I kept it to myself. "This is Donald, and that's Goofy." He said. "And I'm Michael" I said, finishing the annoying introductions. "So what now?" Sora inquired.

"OFF TO THE USUAL SPOT!" I shouted. Everyone jumped back. "What?" said Sora. "Just listen to me, because throughout this journey I'm just going to know things that I shouldn't and you just have to accept that." I explained. "Okay." Agreed Sora.

When we got there we were greeted by a brunet, a black-haired heavyset kid, and a brunette girl. "What do you want?" said the brunet whom I knew to be Hayner. "Oh, nothing, just seeing what was back here." Said Sora. "Well now you know, and this is our Spot." Said an angry Hayner. "Hey are you guys new? I'm Pence." asked the black-haired kid A.K,A. Pence. "Hm? Yah kinda." Said Sora. "And I'm Olette, nice to meet you." Said the only girl. "And I'm Hayner" said the other guy. "Have you finished the summer homework yet? Independent studies are the worst, huh?" Asked Olette.

"Homework?" exclaimed Sora. He then looked back at Donald, Goofy, I and we all shrugged, even though I personally didn't have to. Pence then told us that a guy in a black cloak with big ears (need I tell you who it was) was looking for us and that we should look for him at the station. We went there but what we found wasn't King Mickey. Instead we found Nobodies.

I summoned my W.T.T.Ds and started hacking away. The others followed suit. Sora was really rusty and so were Donald and Goofy. I'm not saying I was all that great either but playing KH2 for hours and hours seemed to help a little. The dusks were really ugly and the way the moved always made me think that they looked like ugly runway models with zippers for mouths.

Sora got really tired and fell down. Donald and Goofy followed suit, and soon I did too. I knew what was coming next, but that didn't stop me from being scared. The Nobodies were about to get us (notice in the KH series they never actually say kill or die?) when King Mickey appeared and defeated them.

"It's the King!" cried Donald. "Shhhhh!" said the King. Then he told us to get on the train and go. The other 3 protested but we walked to the station in the end, that is of course, after I did what anyone in the world would do in my position.

Can u guess what it is? That's right! I pulled Mickey's ears! It was so fun. "What do you think you're doing!" cried The King. "Sorry Your Majesty, I had to." I apologized. The others dragged me into the station. We were about to go when Hayner and the others appeared. "Hey there." Said the easy-going Pence. "Oh, hi." Said Sora. "What are you doing here?" "Just came to see you guys off." Replied Hayner. "But, why?" asked Sora. "We don't know, just felt like something we should do." Said Pence. "Oh alright." Said Sora. That's when he started to cry. Everybody gasped (save for me) at the tear. Sora quickly wiped it away. "You okay?" asked Olette. "Yah, don't know where it came from." Replied an embarrassed Sora. We said our goodbyes and got on the train. This was going to be an _interesting_ journey for sure.

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A/N: Okay I'm sorry its soo bland but IT WILL GET HILARIOUS! If I get a few reviews then ill keep it going and update maybe every other day. And like I said there will be a Whose Line Interlude every 5 chapters, I already have some good material. Oh! And I NEED SUGGESTIONS FOR MY OUTFIT which I will get next chapter. BTW I have reallllyy dark brown hair and in the story it's straight and short. I would prefer a black outfit like Soras but change it up a bit! Oh and Riku will be adventuring with us soon! Au Revior! R&R!

Kairi: Hey! Riku and I aren't in it yet! Hmph.

Riku: Stupid writer stole my sword….

Sora: busy beating author for comment on small outfit


	2. Pepsis All Around!

**Kingdom Insanity 2**

By RedBlackandWhite

**RBW's Mindless Drabble:** Hi! I really don't feel like writing chapters 2, 3, and 4 because I have some awesome material for the interlude, but I must, because it's my duty as a writer! It's insane because last night I was up from 11:30 till 12:45 because I had these ideas running through my head. I finally wrote them down and its frickin' hilarious. I just hope my mom doesn't find them and read them. Anyway this chapter is dedicated to Sora's GuardianAngel, my first reviewer (tear) and because he/she helped me with my outfit, which is like a regular Sora/valor form crossover!

Riku: If those Interlude ideas are about me I'm going viciously murder you!

Sora: YAY! This is going on my Blog!

**RBW**: oh crap….but that was my best material…sweatdrops

**Sora's GuardianAngel:** eating cookies given by the author yum. sniggers Sora has a blog?

AHHHHH! I FORGOT A DISCLAIMER LAST CHAPTER! IM AN IDIOT!

**1st Chapter Disclaimer:** I don't own KH2, its characters, PS2, or any of Disney's characters.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Cher, Pepsi, The Abominable Snowman, Barney (but who does?). I also don't own KH or its characters, BUT IF I DID, OH YESSSSS IF I DID…….muhahahahhaahahahaha. But. I. Don't.

Author looks over at the others, and Sora, Kairi, Riku, and **Sora's GuardianAngel** are huddled in the corner, horrified.

On with the Chapter!

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**Pepsis all around!**

So where was I? Oh yes, we were on the train.

Well in the game the ride isn't that long, but MAN WAS IT LONG. I must've been sitting there for at least 20 minutes! Ok so that may not seem so long but Sora was staring out the window the whole time and Donald and Goofy were having an argument about who would win in a fight, Barney or the Abdominal Snowman. Goofy said Barney and Donald said the Snowman.

As interesting as their debate was, (I mean the Abdominal Snowman could kick Barney's sorry purple ass around Twilight Town and back again any day) I decided to engage a conversation with Sora, who seemed to have died. "Hey Sora! What's shakin?" I asked, being as cheerful as legally possible. "Hm? Oh nothing." Was his bland answer. Well I'll tell YOU if playing KH2 for 4 straight hours at a time has thought me anything, it's that Sora sucks at hiding his emotions. "Liar!" I screeched in his ear. This caught him off guard. "What!" he yelped. "You're just sad because you feel like you're never going to see this place again, aren't you?" I inquired. "But h…" he started, but I hit him, Riku would've been proud. I pulled out a tape recorder and pushed play. "'Just listen to me, because throughout this journey I'm just going to know things that I shouldn't and you just have to accept that.'" It said. Sora looked at me like I was nuts. "W-Why do you have that on a tape?" He asked. "No reason, I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM!" I screamed.

Sora dropped the subject.

By this time Donald had won the debate and we were pulling up to a tower. We got off the train and walked towards the tower. I heard Sora say "Heh, there goes our ride." (A/N: I always hated that line) It turns out the train had evaporated. "Come on Sora!" I said as I dragged him toward the tower. When we got to the entrance a giant figure was blocking the way. Turned out to be Pete. He told us what his plan was, which consisted of getting heartless (and you say I'M the one with no life?) for Maleficent. We told him she was dead (ha that's right I SAID IT TAKE THAT DISNEY CREATORS) and Pete got all mad. He summoned some Heartless and Sora screamed "Heartless!" "No genius it's Cher in disguise!" I said sarcastically. _Wow you'd think after fighting these things for over a year that the surprise would wear off._ I summoned my swords, and the other followed suit. I was amazed at how fast I was, rivaling Sora's anti-form. It seemed the others were too, as they stared when we were finished. I blushed slightly then we turned to the aghast Pete. "This ain't over yet!" He exclaimed, and suddenly disappeared. "What a weird fellow." I blankly stated.

We fought up the flights of stairs and appeared at Yen Sid's door (since we scared off Pete I had to tell everyone who the tower belonged to). The door was mahogany and had block letters that spelled "Yen Sid". I laughed and rearranged the letters to spell "diSneY" (A/N: Did you all know that? Yup, Yen Sid is Disney backwards). "Woahhhhhh" said Sora in awe. He was jaw-dropping (remember it's a Disney game, so they can do that), and Goofy hit him on the head to put it back in place (A/N:) I love hitting Sora its so entertaining). We walked into Yen Sid's domain and saw him sitting in his chair.

"Sora, I've been expecting you." He said. I shivered. I always hated his voice. Sora started talking to him and Yen Sid filled him in on everything he had missed. We were told about the Nobodies and Organization XIII yadda yadda yadda blabbity blah blah. "Now, before you go, yo-" "HOLD IT!" I scream.

"I smell….PEPSI!" My eyes got really big and I swiftly kicked Yen Sid's desk, revealing false bottom, out which dropped a cooler. I opened it up and there was PEPSI inside! (A/N: I'm a Pepsi fanatic) I took 4 out and threw one at Donald, who caught it, one at Goofy, who amazing caught it, and one at Sora, who almost dropped it. "You don't mind, do you?" I asked the Master (who was wide-eyed as usual), but before he could answer I had already chugged half of mine. The others stared at me for my abruptness and only Sora actually opened his and took a sip. The others followed suit (what a surprise). Sora didn't look like he was going to finish his, so I took it from him and gulped it down all at once ( I mean no Pepsi deserves to be wasted). I didn't drink the Donald or Goofy's because I don't want to get dog or duck germs (if it's a human what the hell but within the same species please). "Ok, continue." I said happily and about to get on a sugar high. "Yes well," continued Yen Sid. " You should get a change of garments, those seem to be a bit to small for you."

He nodded towards Sora, and FINALLY everybody else noticed. He told us to go into the next room and we did where we met those annoying fairies. They squabbled (did I use the right verb there?) over Sora's outfit (Sora looks funny in pink :) ). They decided on black of course, a big improvement from last game's outfit. "Can I get an outfit change too?" I asked. "Of course, dear." Said the red one (I don't know their names!). They shot me with their ray thingies, and I must say they did quite well (save for the lack of originality). It was like Sora's except the hoodie was red and instead of yellow stripes on the pants they were silver. Man, fingerless gloves are comfy (mine are black)! My chain was a lion (sorry Leon) and on the lions neck was a gem that was a beautiful blue, okay it was aquamarine, just like uhhh oh yah Riku's eyes (yah go ahead and check me on that I swear that's what color they are). Sora was checking out his outfit and then I finally dragged him out of that room. We met Yen Sid one last time and said our goodbyes. Our (well _theirs_ but now partly mine) Gummi Ship appeared and the idea that I had made me grin. 2 words. _Gunner seat._

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A/N: Sorry we didn't cover much ground there. Riku next chapter I swear! Whose Line ideas are welcome, although I got lots of material already. R&R! Cookies for those who review! 

How will Sora & Co. handle the Gummi ride? Where is Riku? What will become of Sora's Blog? Why is Leon getting his picture taken? And WHY IS MICHAEL SNIFFING SORA'S HAIR?


	3. Of Reunions and Hair Color

**Kingdom Insanity 2**

By RedBlackandWhite

**RBW's (Once again mindless) Drabble:** Hi there peoples! Yay we finally get to Hollow Bastion in this chapter! I seriously need more reviews once again Sora's GuardianAngel is my only reviewer. How about this. If anybody who bothers to read this story can guess what my penname colors stand for (it's KH2 related), then not only will you get a cookie, I'll make you the HOST for the 1st Whose Line Interlude (ha take that Drew Carey!). And no you don't get paid but you DO get a BRITISH ACCENT. Just put the answer in a SIGNED review along with your gender (just so I know a little about the host I have to write about, I also wouldn't mind any story comments :) ) and I will pick the winner. Hmm… I think that's everything I can think to rant about right now….

(Author looks over at the others. Kairi's dead from boredom, Riku has a welding torch and is trying to break into the author's safe that contains the Whose Line ideas (about him), and S'sGA and Sora are drunk, chugging down Pepsi, and singing the Irish Drinking Song, off tune I might add.)

Disclaimer: If I owned KH or it's characters, I would have burned Selphie at the stake ages ago and Sora would tell me how he gets his hair like that. BUT I DON'T. That's how cruel life is. I also don't own Pepsi, Ebay, Google, Men in Black, the memory wiper, the camera I used, Axe, Old Spice, Paul Mitchell, Manchester United, Time To Dance, or Panic! At The Disco (wow that's pathetic) . All I own is a stake (unburned) and jealousy, lots and lots of jealousy.

On with the Chapter!

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Of Reunions and Hair Color

"THAT'S RIGHT DIE DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! ALL OF YOU SHALL PERISH FROM MY FIREY WRATH AND WILL BE THROWN INTO THE BURNING DEPTHS OF HELL! NONE SHALL ESCAPE MY FURY! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" I screamed as I blew every Heartless ship into oblivion.

Donald and Goofy had long since retreated from their seats and huddled into the back of the ship. The only thing that was keeping Sora from doing the same was the fact that somebody had to pilot the ship. When all of the Heartless ships where gone (to Sora & Co.'s IMMENSE relief), we pulled up to Hollow Bastion. We parked the ship (whose guns were now smoking) and got off. When we got to land, Donald collapsed and kissed the ground (NOT a pretty sight).

"You are NEVER getting gunner seat again" Said Sora. "Awww, but we didn't get hit once!" I complained. "Yah but you nearly gave us heart attacks!" Sora explained. We entered the Marketplace and headed toward the Borough (yeah that's right I memorized the names).

After entering the Borough, a little ball thingy appeared, melted into the floor, and scared the crap out of Sora. "What was that?" he cried. We heard a cheerful answer from up above. "That's the town's defense system!" said the happy-go-lucky Yuffie. "Hey Yuffie!" cried Sora. "Long time no see!" she replied. But her face changed from happy to scared "Hey, Look out!" she said as Nobodies appeared. We had to fight them (helllooo anger management!) and of course we won. Yuffie reappeared and we said our hellos. "As tough as ever I see." She noted. "What'd ya expect?" was Sora's cocky response.

"Who's the new kid?" asked the ninja. "Hm? Oh this is Michael." Said Sora, absentmindedly I might add. "Gee thanks Sora." I said. "Well Leon and the gang are at Merlin's House! come on!" she said, walking away (A/N: Is it me or is Yuffie wearing too little clothing to be in an E game?). We followed her into Merlin's House and met the gang. Leon, Cloud, Aerith, Cid, and Merlin where all inside the house. "Meet the Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee!" Screamed Yuffie. Everybody said there hellos, I was introduced (yah at least somebody coughleoncough noticed me!). We were given Committee member cards, everyone but me were oogling (spelling?) their lame cards.

_Snap Snap Snap Snap_.

Everybody stared as I took pictures of Leon. Hey I'm not an idiot, I know a moneymaking opportunity when I see one. Decent pictures of Leon will go for $700 (4500 munny, just kidding) on Ebay easy because no one has a good picture of him (really go Image Google "Leon from Kingdom Hearts 2" and see what you get, I did it last night for a friend and all the screenshots suck.). "Uhhh… Michael, what are you doing?" inquired Sora, who was still staring. "NOTHING YOU DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING!" I yelled and pulled out a memory wiper from Men in Black and a pair of cool sunglasses.

_Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing_.

After erasing the group's short term memory (7 times :) ) and having taken Leon's photo, the party was oogling their cards (again). "After you 3 (ha he noticed I wasn't oogling) are done with that, meet me at the bailey, I have a surprise for you (hint hint)." Said Leon, completely oblivious to the fact that I had 7 photos of him stuffed in my back pocket waiting to sell them on Ebay and get rich. Of course Sora is the type who couldn't wait for a surprise to save his life, so before long we were racing towards the Bailey. Okay it was more like Sora ran around like an idiot _until_ I showed him where the Bailey was. We got to the bailey and Leon was there with…drum roll (if you didn't guess who it was you're a complete moron and are a waste of internal organs) "RIKU!" Sora said, gaping.

Sora ran up to him and cried because he was so happy (he does that in the game when he finds him in the last world). Sora said that he'd looked everywhere blah blah blah not interesting stuff. Riku looked really cheerful and really happy. I couldn't help but stare (not like that you perverts). His hair really _is_ that silver. Hmmm, do they make a hair dye for that color? Oh well.

I was introduced to Riku about ten minutes after Sora stopped crying. Once again it wasn't Sora who noticed to introduce me, Riku just happened to notice the random kid behind Goofy. "Who's your new friend?" He asked. "Oh this is-" Sora started, but was stopped by a hand that I _accidentally _put in contact with his head (you better realize that was sarcasm or else you have problems).

"The name's Michael, nice to meet you." I said, putting on my best impression and shaking his hand. "Owww." Grunted Sora. Riku laughed, as he always does when Sora is in minor pain. "Nice to meet you too." He replied cheerfully. After that Leon showed us the damage of Hollow Bastion. He pointed out Heartless and Nobodies. After the mention of the Organization, its members appeared. They taunted us a bit and then they summoned Nobodies, who started attacking the gate.

We had to defend it, so we got between the Nobodies and the gate. Riku didn't hesitate to join us, nor did Leon. Sora summoned his keyblade and Riku summoned his Way to the Dawn. WAIT HOLD IT. I THOUGHT I HAD HIS SWORD? Oh well. Riku seemed to notice the identicality (haha that's a fun word) of our swords and eyed mine for a second. He turned away and we beat the crap out of nobodies for a while. After that Sora got the fire element and the blizzard element which meant so did I! The Organization Idiots left and Sora did this cool unlock thing on the Membership card, opening up a new pathway. We said our goodbyes and we got on the Gummi ship.

Sora tackled me to the ground when I moved for the gunner seat and Donald took it. I sat in one of the seats while Riku went in one of the back rooms (yes in this story the Gummi ship has rooms). We left Hollow Bastion and after a while I got bored. A thought struck me (AHHH IM ON FIRE) and I got out of my chair and walked over to Sora.

_Sniff Sniff_.

"Hmm, doesn't smell like hair gel." I said to myself, unaware at how surprised Sora was that I had just sniffed his hair. "What the hell was that?" (ooooo Sora cursed) exclaimed Sora, backing away from me. "Well you can't expect not to ask how you get you hair like that!" I answered. "So what do you use, Axe? Old Spice (do they make hair gel?)? Paul Mitchell?" "I don't use hair gel, my hair is naturally this amazing." He replied, apparently happy that he got to toot his own horn for once. And with that comment, he swung his hair back (awkward). "Ok fine, DON'T TELL ME" I said, not convinced that it was natural. I went back to my seat and fidgeted around for a while then went to see what Riku was doing.

He was sitting on the couch, watching TV. (Yes, the Gummi ship has a couch and a TV., those rides are like 5 hours long!), not sensing my presence. Well since I asked Sora about his hair, I might as well ask Riku about his. I plopped down on the couch, scaring the hell out of the usually calm teen. He was watching soccer (I don't know Riku just seems to be a soccer type to me). "Hey." He said, regaining his composure (_Have some composure where is you're posture oh no nooo…_ha sorry, Time to Dance by Panic! At the Disco (woot woot)). "Hey there." I replied.

We just sat there watching TV. (Manchester United versus some other random team) for a while until I asked the big question (wow not the best choice of words). "Hey Riku, is Sora's hair naturally spiky? He wouldn't tell me." This caused Riku to smile. "Well I found out when he was 12, I was 13. If you really want to know…" He said, motioning for me to come closer.

I did and he whispered something in my ear. My eyes got big, and my life was now complete (not really, because as I've said, I DO have a life). "Wow, never would've thought of that." I said, still in awe. "Well, what about your hair?" "This is natural, just genetics." He said. Well he _is_ a good liar so I made a mental note to ask Sora. I got tired of soccer and went out to the bridge (that's the control room people). We were pulling up to our next destination as I looked out the window. The Land of Dragons.

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A/N: Wow that was fun to write but I suck at writing long chapters. I SHALL NEVER TELL YOU WHAT RIKU TOLD ME EVER hahahahahah I'm just that evil. Remember the contest, I would like submitted answers before uhhh June 20th. For those of you who are worried about who will take Riku's place one of my friends has volunteered to be the friend that doesn't want to be found but still likes to help. From now on each chapter will cover 2 worlds at a time. Oh heres a random fact I'm 5 battles 10 synthesis materials 4 form levels and one Sephiroth battle away from beating KH2 on Proud mode! Yay me! R&R!

Riku: Ugh I give up! (throws away welding torch and stares at the undented safe)

Kairi: DIE YOU EVIL ZOMBIES! (playing Resident Evil I think 3)

Sora: (writing in his blog)

See this button here? (points down) press it and review!


	4. Land of Dragons and Hello Kitty

**Kingdom Insanity 2**

By RedBlackandWhite

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RBW's (not Mindless, but instead Maniacal) Drabble:** Yo Peoples! Sup! Okay as of 9:18 am (east coast), June 19th, I do not have a correct answer to my penname contest. Here's a hint. The colors have nothing to do with heartless or nobodies (sorry Harmonize), but they are about a certain 3 friends, and the order of the colors correspond with the order of their heights (shortest to tallest, so like Red has to do with the shortest friend). Now if you can't guess it I must be writing for 6 year olds, which I really hope I'm not. If I get more than one right answer, I will decide the winner based on who emailed me first. I GOT DIFFERENT REVIEWERS THIS TIME! YAYYYYYY! Yo Peoples! Sup! Okay as of 9:18 am (east coast), June 19th, I do not have a correct answer to my penname contest. Here's a hint. The colors have nothing to do with heartless or nobodies (sorry ), but they are about a certain 3 friends, and the order of the colors correspond with the order of their heights (shortest to tallest, so like Red has to do with the shortest friend). Now if you can't guess it I must be writing for 6 year olds, which I really hope I'm not. If I get more than one right answer, I will decide the winner based on who emailed me first. I GOT DIFFERENT REVIEWERS THIS TIME! YAYYYYYY! 

RESPONSES TO REVIEWS:

**Harmonize:** NEVER, SORAS HAIR WILL REMAIN A MYSTERY FOREVER! MUHAHHAHAHHAHA!

**Doom () (who is actually my friend who is replacing Riku's original spot and only registered onto the site to annoy me with reviews):** I have said it a billion times, NO DORK RIGHTS, EVER! That's right I'm putting it in my story too. I will allow dork rights when Sora gets taller than Riku, which, as you can ask anyone who knows Kingdom Hearts as much as I do, will happen right after hell freezes over.

**Meinos877:** Nooo, Demyx shall fall to my mighty blade, just kidding, he is going be fun to write about.

**Sora'sGuardianAngel:** Sorry! You didn't get it right. Nice try, though.

**NocturnalWriter (Who reviewed my story at 1:15 in the morning, such dedication):** Ohhhh you were sooo close! Well, on the right track at least. You've gotten the closest. DO THEY REALLY MAKE HAIR COLORING FOR RIKU'S HAIR? THAT'S AWSOME!

Sora: (helping Riku operate a drilling laser on the safe, which is still intact)

Kairi: (Playing Kingdom Hearts 2 after beating Resident Evil 3, which must be weird)

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters, Resident Evil, Square Enix, Disney, the Food Network, Hello Kitty, and Webster. No worries, though, because I'm going to buy out Square Enix and Disney someday, and then I shall RULE the WORLD! But for now I don't.

A/N: Some language is in this chapter.

**Land of Dragons and Hello Kitty**

We arrived in the Land of Dragons in a bamboo forest, weary from the long trip. "CHOPSTICKS!" I scream. I mean we are in China. Everyone stared, which I was used to by now. We started walking until we got to a sign that said "Welcome to the Land of Dragons". I took out a red marker and _fixed_ the sign to my taste.

The sign now said "Welcome to the Land of Dragons, finish your shit and get the fuck out."

"Muhahahaha, ok lets go." I said, stifling my laughter. I looked back and only Sora and Goofy were surprised. We got towards a clearing in the bamboo forest and saw a guy and a shadow of a monster. It was obviously Mulan and Mushu. "A Heartless?" Donald asked Sora. "I dunno, but let's get the jump on 'em." Said Sora. They started to run at the shadow, leaving me, Riku (who hadn't said a word for a least half an hour), and Goofy. Goofy said "Shouldn't we look before we leap?" He was ignored (poor Goofy). "AHHHHH!" cried Sora and Donald, weapons out and ready.

Mulan and Mushu (who had jumped out and onto Mulan) flinched. Sora and Donald stopped. "Mushu?" asked Donald. "That's right I know you've heard of me, I'm the legendary Mushu!" he said, starting his monologue. "We missed you!" cried Sora. "Yeah well you better hope I missed You because you're….you're…" Mushu finally decided to look at the people he was yelling at. "SORA! DONALD! GOOFY! AND 2 PEOPLE I DON'T KNOW!" (And it seems that we have a challenger in the Bluntness contest!)

"You know these guys?" asked Mulan, hopelessly lost. "Know them, man we used to kick all kinds of bad guy butt together!" answered Mushu. The introductions ensued, and Mushu introduced us to "Ping", who was going to join the Imperial Army. Sora introduced Riku and I to Mushu and "Ping". Mushu then told us that since Sora and Co. had used Mushu in the last game, we had to pay "Ping" back. Sora agreed (thank God he isn't a diplomat, if he was the Western World would be screwed). "Great! It would be easier to fit in if I was with guys, like you." Said Mulan (screw saying Ping, I don't like that name.)

"Whadda mean, 'guys like us'? Asked Sora. "Oops." said the Mulan, realizing that she blew her cover (BOOM). "You're pretendin' to be a boy, aren't ya?" asked Goofy, apparently having gained 10 IQ points while sleeping for a year. "Yo-You're a GIRL!" cried Sora, amazed and gaping, as was Donald. Riku and I (who had seen past the girl's disguise about 3 minutes ago) did a "Leon", putting our index and middle finger to our foreheads, amazed at Sora's stupor. "You didn't notice?" asked Mulan, pleased with her success. "No!" said Sora. "Mushu, I think its working" she said hopefully. "I dunno, those two will fall for anything." Said Mushu. "Damn straight." I said, out of nowhere. "Amen." Muttered Riku. "I'm right here!" cried Sora. He was ignored. Again.

(I'm sorry that was such a long beginning. Hopefully going faster now…)

We got to the camp, which was swarming with Heartless.

Same old same old. We defeated the annoying things and were greeted by the captain dude. He told Mulan to go home. Sora protested and asked him to give Mulan another chance. We did 3 tasks, which were defeating a crapload of Heartless. I won't bore you with specifics, because it got monotonously bland. We got to the burned village after our missions. Mushu told us that he saw the Hun guy (the bad guy in this world people sheesh) going into a cave. We went there, got trapped, and Sora, Riku, Mulan and I had to fight a bunch of Heartless while Donald and Goofy watched behind an invisible wall. Mulan and Sora did their Limit (a group attack) twice and we won. We left and the village had been attacked again.

We went after the Hun guy and met him at the summit. We fought loads of heartless and then Mulan shot a rocket at the mountain. The Hun guy was buried but somehow got to the Imperial City. The captain dude figured out Mulan was a girl, and got really mad at her. We raced to the city and met the Hun guy. We fought him and since it was6 on 1, we won easily. Everyone was thanked by the Emperor Grandpa guy and Sora opened a new pathway. We left the Land of Dragons after that.

Back on the Gummi ship everyone retreated to their spots. I didn't get the gunner seat because Sora asked Riku to hold me back and he did. Goofy got it instead. Sora was sleeping in his seat, I guess he didn't make it back to one of the bedrooms (yes, bedrooms!), Donald was also catching the Z's and Goofy was blasting away while Riku watched the Food Network. Being the _amazing_ game organizer that I am (sarcasm), I decided that all of us should play a game to pass the 6 hour flight. Hmmm, now _what_ to play? Spin the bottle would only be fun if we actually had both sexes on the ship, so I guess we had to settle with Truth or Dare.

_Muhahahhahahaha…_

I went up to Goofy and told him my plan. He put the guns on auto-pilot, and went to wake up the duck and the brunet. I told him I didn't care how he woke them up, but as I went to the back room I heard Sora say "GOOFY WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?"

Riku had fallen asleep on the couch. Typical. I decided to have some fun and promptly pulled myself over the couch so that I was upside-down and was positioned right in front of Riku's eyes. I started poking him with one hand (while keeping my position).

He slowly opened his eyes, my face being the first and only thing he saw.

"Hi." I said with the straightest face possible.

"**GAHHH!**" he shrieked, spasming off the couch and hitting the floor. I cracked up, tears flowing out of my eyes from laughing so hard. Needless to say Riku was mad. Okay scratch that, pissed off. Okay, scratch that, REALLY pissed off. He calmed down though (he's Riku, its like the law for him to be calm). I told him that we were playing Truth or Dare.

He flatly said no and I told him that if he didn't play then he would wake up with hair the same color as Sora's eyes. "You wouldn't" he stated, nervously. "You going to take that chance?" I said, very smugly I might add. "Fine I'll play." We went to the living room and sat where the others were and began with Sora.

It was _hilarious_.

I'll sum it up for you because if I told you everything then I'd be sued in 21 states and you would be scarred for life. Okay screw that I'll tell you everything anyway (I DON'T NEED A LAWYER).

"Okay Sora, Truth or Dare." I asked. "Umm, truth." He said nervously. "Okay, what _really _happened to you're hair, and don't lie because Riku will know." I said. "Damnit. Well...BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP…and that's why my hair is how it is." Goofy's mouth had hit the floor and Donald passed out. "Psh, naturally amazing, my ass." I said. Sora blushed for some reason. Goofy was next. "Gawrsh, okay, Donald. Truth or Dare?" asked the dog. "Dare!" exclaimed Donald, ready for a challenge. "Okay, you have to let Sora set you're tail on fire!" he said. "Ooo, nice one, Goofy." I remarked, approvingly. Sora set the duck's rear end on fire and Donald ran around (screaming) until Riku threw water on him.

"Okay Sora, your turn." I said, keeping the game going. "Okay, hmm. Riku. Truth or Dare." "Truth." Said Riku offhandedly. "Haha okay, what is one obsession that you have that you've never told anyone about?" inquired Sora. "Ugh." Said Riku. "Um, I…." Riku mumbled his reply. "What was that? I didn't hear you." Sora said, enjoying himself. "I love Hello Kitty!" Riku screamed.

Holy shit, never saw that coming.

Everybody gaped. "My turn!" cried Donald. "Goofy! Truth or Dare?" he asked. "Truth." Said Goofy. "Are you a virgin?" Every human in the room sweatdropped. "Uhh… umm… no."

Can you say, I'm never going to get a decent night's sleep ever again for the rest of my life, 3 times fast?

Everybody recovered from Goofy's response and it was Sora's turn again. "Michael."

Oh fuck.

"Truth or Dare?" he asked. "Truth" I nervously responded. "Name somebody you like." Wow that was bland, so I decided to go over the top and tell them about Scary Goth Girl. (A/N: Yes Doom I am writing about Scary Goth Girl!) I told them and they were shocked.

"My turn." Murmured Riku. "Sora. Truth or Dare." "Tr...Truth." Sora answered, _really_ nervously. I would be too, this is Riku here, and he had a particularly evil look. "Have you ever questioned you're sexuality?" Silence. More Silence. Finally Sora answered. "Well from when I turned 12 until I was 13, I was bisexual." Riku passed out. We woke him up with a nice pail of cold water. "I get the last turn!" I screamed happily. I had planned this from the beginning.

"Sora AND Riku. Truth or Dare." They looked at each other. "Dare." They said in unison.

_Ahahahahhahahahaha._

"Okay then, you both must change into each other's clothing and then Tango with each other." I said. Everyone else's faces turned pink and purple. Donald and Goofy from lack of oxygen and Sora and Riku for obvious reasons. They changed ("damn Sora, why are you're shoes so huge?") and then tangoed.

I'll tell you one thing. Riku tangoing with another guy in Sora's shoes deserves a word for itself. Let me call up Webster right now.

After the dancing, the fact that Sora's hoodie got caught in Riku's hair, Donald needing CPR from laughing so hard (by Goofy, ew), me denting the wall from hitting my head against it from not being able to breathe, and getting Riku's shoes off of Sora's feet, we were coming up to Beast's Castle.

Everybody was relieved.

* * *

A/N: I know that I said 2 worlds but that took forever to write, btw I hated writing this chapter, save for the TorD part, which was an Idea I got yesterday while practicing piano. Haha everybody wants to know about Sora's hair. Oh well. Come on people I really want to write the interlude this week! Give me a right answer! Ever since I started this story the earliest I've fallen asleep at night has been 12:30 because I need to write all of these ideas! I'm turning into a sleepwalking trainwreck here! Okay now that I'm done ranting, R&R! 

Sora and Riku: (Break into the safe at last, only to find a smaller safe inside)

Kairi: (Finishing opening pathway to Beasts Castle)


	5. Whose Line Interlude Part I

**Kingdom Insanity 2:Whose Line Is It Anyway Interlude**

By RedBlackandWhite

**RBW's Cynical (yes I learned a new word) Drabble:** ENOUGH WAITING! I DIDN'T GET ONE RIGHT ANSWER! Ahh ok **NocturnalWriter** got one of the 3 colors right, but I must say the other 2 color guesses were absolutely horrendous answers. Sorry I'm just pissed that I had to wait so long. I actually wrote half of the next chapter in my head while waiting. I'm planning on introducing a new character into chapter 6. This person reviewed my story and asked me to include her (YES IT'S A GIRL, I mean somebody has to balance out all this testosterone). Don't worry, its going to be a funny as ever. AND IF ANY OF YOU ASK ME TO INCLUDE YOU I WILL RIP YOUR SPLEEN RIGHT OUT OF

YOUR STILL-IN-USE BODY! I do not take requests. This is just a special circumstance here. I am a free spirit! NOBODY can tell me what to do! MUHAHAHAHA!

Review Responses will be in the next chapter.

A/N: The following chapter includes jokes that imply homosexuality, sexual situations, Leon shrines, and the sexual orientations of the KH cast (esp. a certain silver-haired teen). I couldn't help myself. If you don't like it get out. I just hope it's not too perverted, I wrote these jokes last week and I hope you like them. It also includes a lot of language. It also includes pie.

_italics _idea slips

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Whose Line, North Dakota, Issac Newton, any of the Whose Line games, Goofy's hat, President Bush, Pepsi, Girl Scouts, Haley Joel Osment, Hayden Panettiere, David Gallagher, the town of International Falls, Minnesota, Belgium, Flintstone vitamins, the car maker Infiniti, the Green Bay Packers, the Pittsburgh Steelers, Pinot Noir, the line _Grandma's Chicken Salad_ from Friends (I don't own Friends either), I don't own Riku's Weird Newscasters last name (Nori) I stole (I mean used) that from another fanfic, I cant remember the name though; KH, or its characters. Wow every chapter these disclaimers get longer and longer…

**Whose Line Is It Anyway, Part I**

NOW ITS TIME FOR WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY!

**NocturnalWriter in a very convincing British accent:** Welcome to Whose Line, where the points don't matter, but we give them out anyway. That's right the points don't matter, just like the state of North Dakota. I'm your BRITISH host, NocturnalWriter! Let's meet our cast for tonight!

(camera zooms over to the SEVEN guest comedians)

"That'll be twenty bucks, KAIRI!

Holy shit it looks like Newton was wrong, SORA!

Here's you're espresso, RIKU!

Skimpy black clothes are half off, YUFFIE!

It turns out it takes more muscles to smile than to frown, AERITH!

Guns are NOT allowed in the building, LEON!

And last but not least, it seems Bipolarity is curable, CLOUD!"

**NW:** Okay lets start with Scenes from a Hat! (takes out an orange hat that looks eerily like Goofy's)

Okay before the show we asked the audience glances at audience that mostly consists of crazed fangirls to give us situations and we picked the best ones. Okay here we go……

(takes out first slip of paper)

**NW:** "_Leon, Cloud, Riku, and Sora without_…. HOLY SHIT I THOUGHT YOU PEOPLE SCREENED THESE SLIPS!" "Okay, NOT using that one…"

"_Ways for Sora to describe the Keyblade but NOT Riku." _"This is gonna be fun, okay everybody EXCEPT Sora and Riku, go ahead and start!"

"No, I'm not doing this one." Said Cloud, because he's just that cool.

KAIRI: "It sure does help me fall asleep at night!"

YUFFIE: "Sometimes it has a stain on it and I can't seem to get it off."

AERITH: "Sometimes it gets all dirty and I have to clean it."

LEON: "Seeing it always makes me PERK UP"

KAIRI: "Sometimes it shoots and sometimes the magic is used up."

YUFFIE: "It's always so soothing to set it on my lap and run my hand over it."

AERITH: "I always enjoy playing with the silver ends." (A/N: Think of the Oathkeeper Keyblade people.)

LEON: "It's so easy to lead."

YUFFIE: When it comes to it, there isn't ANYTHING that I haven't seen."

KAIRI: "It feels so light in my hands."

AERITH: "When I shove it against something it makes a loud noise." (Holy crap Aerith made a nasty joke!)

(NocturnalWriter is banging her head against the desk, bawling out tears of laughter. Sora and Riku are also hitting their heads, but against the water table.)

**NW:** "Okay, 1,000 points to both Sora's and Riku's parents for having to hear that. Okay, let's…let's…LET'S go onto the…haha STAIN…sorry, next slip."

"_Newspaper headlines explaining why Leon changed his name."_

"This is for everybody except Leon. Okay start!"

SORA pretending to read the paper: "Hmm… SCAR FACED MAN RUN OUT OF TOWN BY GIRL SCOUT TROOP"

YUFFIE same position: "Wow.. PRESIDENT BUSH BEATS LEONHART IN SPELLING BEE, WINNING WORD 'NUCLEAR'"

CLOUD same position: "LEONHART LOSES MALPRACTICE LAWSUIT AGAINST BLIND NEUROSURGEON"

(Leon is shooting daggers at the 3 of them.)

**NW:** "Ok…next one…"

**NW:**_ "Things Riku is thinking while randomly staring at Sora"_ "Ok everybody but said characters. Ready, set, go!"

YUFFIE: "DAMN, if I wasn't so laid-back I'd SO hit that." (A/N: I just had to put that one people.)

KAIRI: "Wow…big shoes means…" A/N: I'm not going to finish that.

AERITH: "Hmm… his hair looks like cinnamon stalagmites (A/N: yes those ARE the ones that point up)."

LEON: "Sooo many zippers…"

CLOUD: "I wonder if his hair tastes chocolatey…"

YUFFIE: "I wonder how long it's gonna be until he figures out I stuffed rotten papou fruit in his hoodie."

(Riku and Sora sweatdropped on the first comment and are still sweatdropping, setting the record for the longest sweatdrop ever.)

**NW:** "1 million points to Yuffie and Kairi. NEXT!"

"_Thoughts of Haley Joel Osment between Sora voice-over takes" _(A/N: I hope you all know that Haley Joel Osment is Sora's voice.) "Everyone but Sora, go!"

YUFFIE: "Wow, Hayden Panettiere's skirt sure does leave little to the imagination."

KAIRI: "Hmm… David Gallagher is looking _exceptionally_ good today." (A/N: That's Riku's voice people.)

**NW:** "Okay, 5,000 points to Osment, Panettiere, and Gallagher, wherever the hell they are right now. Let's go onto the next game, Weird Newscasters!" (Goofy comes up on stage, steals hat back, and slaps author.) "OUCH! Damn dog…"

"This one is for Kairi, Sora, Riku, and Yuffie."

"Okay, Kairi, you're the Anchor, Sora, you're the co-anchor who is a gay hairstylist, Riku has the sports and is schizophrenic, and Yuffie has the weather, and her cat was run over by Kairi's car when Kairi pulled out of her driveway on her way to work this morning. Ready, go!"

(News music)

KAIRI: "Welcome to Destiny Action News, I'm Kairi Paopupants and this is my co-anchor Sora Epiwssa." (A/N: Read that last word backwards. Muhahaha I'm evil.)

SORA: "Good Evening, hun. Tsk tsk you have too much eyeliner on."

KAIRI: "Really? Maybe I should get a lighter color (A/N: I'm a frickin guy people I'm doing the best I can here.)."

SORA: "With those shoes? You wish."

KAIRI freaking out: "Anyway, the town of International Falls, Minnesota, has changed it's motto to 'Holy crap, its so damn cold here.' Also, scientists in Belgium have discovered that homosexuality is caused by Flintstone vitamin-overdoses, the same day as the unveiling of the said vitamin's new flavor, Pinot Noir-Strawberry (A/N: Pinot Noir is red wine people, holy crap why do I know that). Now over to Riku Nori with the Sports."

RIKU: "STOP PRESSURING ME PAOPUPANTS! change Anyway, the Packers had a loverly day today as they beat the Steelers, poor Steelers. change Hmm.. but it doesn't matter because sooner or later we all shrivel up and DIE. That's right life is pointless. Back to you Kairi."

(Riku starts making a noose for himself)

KAIRI (Sora is using a lot of hairspray on her): "Okay (cough), thank you (cough), Riku. Let's (cough) go to our weather (cough) correspondent, (cough) Yuffie Ispep (A/N: Read backwards)."

YUFFIE: "GEE THANKS KAIRI! WELLLLL tomorrows going to be nice and sunny, TOO BAD LEXY ISN'T GOING TO SEE IT SHE USED TO LOVE THE SUN! Well after that, the rest of the week is going to be rainy, INCLUDING THE FUNERAL DAY! BACK TO KAIRI, oh and I HOPE YOU AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL INFINITI GET INTO AN ACCIDENT ON THE WAY HOME TODAY AND YOU BOTH GET DESTROYED IN A FIREY EXPLOSION!"

KAIRI (bewildered by the fact that Sora has her hair like his now, Riku is finished his noose, and Yuffie is sabotaging her car with C4): Well, uh, thank you for tuning in, I will see you tomorrow on Destiny Action News, good night!"

**NW:** "That was great guys."

Kairi: "Sora, you make really good hairstylist impersonator."

Sora: "Thanks! Riku let me do his hair a few times."

(Every stares at Riku, who turns five shades pinker.)

**NW:** "1 million points to every gay hairstylist out there for being offended by that impersonation, and 1 ga-jillion points to whosever car we borrowed for that skit…Okay now for Whose Line, yes we actually have a game called Whose Line. Okay Leon and Yuffie are going to rob a bank. The tellers will be Cloud and Aerith. When the buzzer sounds, whoever was speaking has to take a slip of paper out of their pocket and use it as their next line. Ready set go!"

LEON: "Yuffie, shut up! Somebody might hear us!"

YUFFIE: "Sorry Squall! I'm just nervous!"

LEON: "THAT'S LEON!"

YUFFIE: "We go through this every time, I say Squall, you say Leon, and then I say (BUZZ, pulls out slip) 'Grandma's chicken salad is amazing.'"

LEON: "What?"

YUFFIE: "You mean to tell me that you've never had it? It's to die for!"

LEON: "Oh, that sounds go…WAIT, why are we talking about this NOW?"

YUFFIE: "Beats me."

They enter the bank, Leon pulls out his gunblade (A/N: wow that was really convenient I seriously didn't plan on that.). Cloud and Aerith are the only ones in the bank.

LEON: "EVERYBODY FREEZE!"

YUFFIE: "PUT THE MONEY IN THE BAG!"

AERITH: "I would, b-but the manager never gives us the key to the safe! She says (BUZZ, pulls out slip) 'Riku is fucking hot'."

YUFFIE: "WHAT?"

CLOUD: "She's telling the truth! The manager Larxene doesn't trust us with the safe key because of… her crush on Riku…?"

**NW:** (spit out coffee laughing)

LEON: "FINE! I'll just blow the safe open!" (points gunblade on safe and gets ready to blow it open)

CLOUD: "WAIT!"

LEON: "WHAT?"

CLOUD: "Before you do anything, I want to say something!" (pushes silent alarm)

YUFFIE: "Fine, but make it quick!"

CLOUD: "I…(BUZZ, pulls out slip), there's no way in hell that I'm saying that (throws away, pulls out another slip,) have a LEON SHRINE IN MY CLOSET!"

(Riku chokes on his water)

LEON: (Dazed at what Cloud said.)

(Aerith seizes the her chance and jumps over the desk and does a spinning kick on Leon, chops Yuffie on the neck, knocking them both out.)

(Officers Sora and Riku show up.)

SORA: "Awww, Aerith knocked the robbers out AGAIN!"

Riku (comforting Sora): "It's alright, you know what they say, (BUZZ, pulls out slip) 'I like pie.'"

(Sora (who is still trying to act disappointed) cracks up)

SORA: "Yah, you tell me all the time Riku. Let's go get a slice."

(Riku squeals with delight)

(BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ)

**NW:** "Hahahaha, okay thanks for tuning in, and unless I get kicked off by the writer, I'll see you next time!"

THE END

I AM SOOO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG! Turns out that I had a virus and wouldnt upload the chapter because it kept finding it. I got rid of it and it worked! YAY! I had written this on Wed. and finally got it going at 8 at night on Fri.! I'm so happy because my friend made me a rad Riku icon and that rains

A/N: That was fun. MY CONTEST IS STILL OPEN. The person who can answer it gets to be the Part II host. Remember, 3 friends, in order of height. NEW CLUE: 2 have to do with hair and 1 with outfit(s). Now I can finally write chapter 6! Yay! Keep the reviews coming because they're addictive! R&R!


	6. Beast's Castle, Alexis, Rira

**Kingdom Insanity 2**

By RedBlackandWhite

**RBW's Delusional Drabble:** Hey there people! Oh well the first interlude is over but look out for Chapter 10! Sorry **NocturnalWriter** you're not going to be the host next time, unless you solve my new contest! YES I HAVE A NEW CONTEST! At the end of this chapter I have prepared a few KH2 trivia questions. Whoever answers the most correctly in a review will be the winner and will be the next host! Ok I didn't get that many reviews for chapter 5, kinda disappointing. Oh and I found out where I got Riku's last name. It's from a fanfic called Charity Case and it's really good. Check that out. I'm also thinking about writing a one shot soon called **No One Knows You Better Than Your Nobody** and its gonna be from Kairi's POV. That's just in the works right now. Oh well. Okay, on with the new chapter and **2** new characters!

Riku: Get on with it!

Sora: SUGAR HIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Kairi: AM I EVER GOING TO BE IN THIS STORY?

Review Responses:

**ShadowShapeshifterandHerCat:** Why were you reading fanfics in a library?

**Sky Burst Dragon (Alexis):** Okay yes you got it right but no hosting for you!

**NocturnalWriter:** Sugar is goooooood…

**Doom () (Riku's Replacement):** I already knew what cynical meant. By the way STOP REVIEWING MY STORY IF YOU'RE JUST GOING TO TALK ABOUT YOUR EVIL BOYFRIEND!

**Sora's GuardianAngel:** Not very good with puzzles now are we? Haha just kidding.

Disclaimer: If I owned KH or its characters then I wouldn't have to write disclaimers and the world would be deprived of my witty banter. I also don't own anything else I mention in this story, but I do own pie, lots of pie.

**

* * *

**

Beast's Castle, Alexis, and Rira

We had gotten off the Gummi ship and were walking (and walking and walking) towards an enormous castle.

We went inside (how rude of us) and didn't see anyone. Sora walked towards an open door and went inside. We followed him in (he's the main character whether we like it or not.) and were greeted by Shadows.

"What, no tea and crumpets?" I inquired to nobody in particular. We started fighting them. Donald ran around shooting Heartless with lightning bolts like the wuss he is, while Goofy just threw his shield at nothing in particular. Sora and Riku used their Limit, which is always fun to watch, and I just threw my WTTDs like boomerangs (wow, they really come back to me!). After a while the Beast came in.

Sora said hi to him, and was promptly ignored. And then promptly thrown across the room. On top of me of all people. Ouch. But I didn't yell at him because I'm sooooo nice like that. The Beast just went over to the desk and picked up some stupid rose and left. We followed him out (but not after visiting the moogle shop!) and saw Belle at the top of the stairs, who ran. "Well since that was the Beast then that person must've been Belle." Deducted Sora.

Golf clap for Sora.

We then proceeded to follow Belle back to her room. We got there and walked in. Belle saw Sora and broke into a smile. "Oh, I'm so glad you're here!" Introductions ensued and everybody got acquainted and then we all had those tea and crumpets that I wanted. Haha I lied no tea and crumpets for me. Belle told us that the Beast had locked up his servants and that we had to free them.

Oh fun. Let's just start a mercenary business. Please call 1-800-555-6834 if you want one of us to do your crap for you.

Sora complied because he's a PUSHOVER. We went to the West Wing and fought a bunch of Heartless. After the 12th Gargoyle it got boring. We finished and arrived at the Wardrobe. Sora pushed the Wardrobe to the side without waking it up (yes it was asleep). We entered the Undercroft (wow that name sounds evil, like weekend radio) and saw a door that had two stone monster things engraved in it. We approached the door and it came to life. The Thresholder started attacking us with its giant fists. "AHHHHH" cried Donald. We started fight the door (wow we're fighting a door of all things) and finally the Possessor came out.

I wanted to try out Riku and I's Limit (yes we have a Limit, only _losers_ don't have Limits, gosh) so I nodded to him and he nodded back (yah we're telepathic). He vaulted me into the air and I attacked the ghost with my swords while spinning. Riku then chucked his sword towards the ghost, and I did a bicycle kick and caught the sword with my feet. I then threw it and my swords at the specter, which promptly exploded. Aren't I good?

After the battle (wow that's a KH song, how ironic), we entered the previously guarded room. Inside was Lumiere, Cogsworth, Chip, and the other lady (A/N: I had to look up the French candlestick's name). They told us why the Beast was ugly, such an interesting story. We followed Lumiere into the secret passageway to the Beast's room.

Sora had to light the lantern thingies, which took a while, so I dared Goofy to steal Donald's staff and to turn his tail pink. Needless to say he failed and Donald struck him with lighting :). After Sora was done we got to the Beast's room. Inside were the Beast (wow, who saw that coming, because I certainly didn't) and an Organization dude name Xaldin. Xaldin left after we arrived, and we were left with an angry Beast. We then fought him. This took like 20 seconds, and Riku and I didn't even have to fight because the Beast wasn't all that strong. The battle consisted of Sora pulling around Cogsworth, who would say "Master, please! COMPOSE YOURSELF!"

After exorcising (I AM THE EXORCIST! FEAR ME!) the Beast, we went to Belle's room, which was empty. The Wardrobe told us that she went to find the man in the black coat. We went to the ballroom and found instead a Heartless. It looked like a floating black ball with yellow eyes. We started to fight it, which was difficult, because it kept melting into the floor (and the pillars, and the giant windows, and the chandelier).

After bashing it around after a while, it transformed itself into a giant beast that had flame-colored hair. We continued fighting until it finally croaked. Belle entered and everyone thanked us. Then Sora opened a gateway with the Rose. We promptly left and arrived at the Gummi ship.

Something didn't feel right.

Riku seemed to sense it too, but Sora was oblivious, mumbling something about "haven't eaten in 8 hours". We entered the ship and Sora went for the fridge. He didn't make it because a blob of blond fur attacked his head.

"AHHH!" Sora screamed. Donald and Goofy tried to pull the thing off Sora's head, but didn't succeed. A voice then rang out.

"RIRA STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!"

A blonde girl appeared from the back of the ship. She wore dark blue pants and a lighter blue shirt/jacket thing that looked like Tifa's, her black boots had buckles which also looked like Tifa's, she wore a black trench coat that looked like Cloud's , and a necklace with a blue jay on it. Her hair went to her waist and she had two visible holstered silver pistols on her waist. (A/N: I hope all of you can envision that, I had to consult a friend (who's a girl) for the outfit, thanks Jessica!)

"I'm sorry, Rira always get crazy like that when she sees spiky objects." Said the girl. Everyone was still staring at her. The blond blob turned out to be a small lioness, which finally stopped massacring Sora's hair and returned to the girl's side. "Why are ya on our ship?" asked Goofy. "Beats me, I just woke up and I was here." The mysterious girl said, beaming. "The name's Alexis."

"Nice to meet you I'm…" Sora started. "Sora." She completed for him, _still_ smiling. "Donald. Goofy." She continued, nodding at those mentioned. She paused at me. "Michael" I said. "Nice to meet you" she responded. "And…Riku!" she said, finally breaking her smile and replacing it with surprise. She started to stare.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer." I said, not trying to be mean. "Here, use my camera." I said, pulling my oh-so-famous camera out of one of my many pockets and tossing it to her. "Why do you have a random camera?" she inquired. "Oh, because I was taking pictures of Le…NO REASON!" I said, catching myself, but too late because everyone was staring.

"Ughhh…" I said.

I took out my beloved memory-wiper _again_.

I threw some glasses to Alexis and put some on me.

_Bing Bing Bing_. "Well that was a waste." I said, taking back my unused camera. Everyone had forgotten the last 12 seconds of their lives. With the introductions over, Riku went disappeared into a room while Sora stuffed his face. Donald and Goofy got pilot duty and I got to talk to Alexis.

"So did you get sucked into the game too?" I asked. "Yup, then I woke up here." Was her reply. She left to go polish her guns and I was left to wander the ship. I checked the bridge and Donald had blasted everything in sight and had proceeded to fall asleep in his chair, while Goofy continued to pilot the ship.

Sora was on a couch and was watching T.V. with an angry glare on his face. At first I didn't understand why but it turns out Rira had made his hair into a pillow and had fallen asleep. I sniggered and he noticed my presence.

"Shut it." He said angrily.

I found Riku asleep in one of the bedrooms, shoes and all. (A/N: this is where all of those girl readers (and possibly some guys) insert their own personal nasty thoughts, which I don't approve of, so I'll just wait until they are done… ok let's continue.) I left him alone and went to my own room which I had claimed during the previous trip and fell asleep.

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A/N: Ok, there are the new characters. Next is Olympus! Oh I almost forgot the trivia quiz! Okay if you haven't played most of KH2 don't even attempt this quiz. Also NO CHEATING. Cheating is not fair and its not right. I'm not going to know, but its still not right. Do NOT look up the answers on the internet, just answer from memory. I hope that I'm writing stories for cheaters who don't have morals. 

RedBlackandWhite's KH2 Trivia Quiz:

1) Name 2 (or 3) of the trio of "treasure fanatic" fairies that work for Maleficent.

2) Tell me the name of the MCP's "number two" in Space Paranoids.

3) Name 2 characters in KH2 whose costumes show their navels (I know there are more than 2, but the ones I'm thinking of are guys. If there are more I will accept them if they are still right).

4) Which uncommon letter is in used every Organization XIII member's name (you have to have played CoM to be sure)?

5) Cloud, Leon, and Sephiroth are from which other Square Enix game (number also please)?

A/N: ok that's it. See ya later!


	7. Of Muffins and Trigger Happy Blondes

**Kingdom Insanity 2**

By RedBlackandWhite

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**RBW's Immoral and Profane Drabble:** Hey there. I'm so awesome! Ok my selfishness is gone now. Well I've written 2 stories in the past 4 days. They are called No One Knows You Better Than Your Nobody and Another One of Those Annoying Ego Centric Comedy Talk Shows. Yes very long names I know. Well in the former story (that means the first of the 2 mentioned people), Kairi contemplates Roxas's comment and in the latter story I am a fabulous talk show host and in the first chapter I interview Sora, injuring a few audience members in the progress. People, I need more reviews for this story, I only have 30, and that includes the ones from friends that don't really count. The hits for this story outnumber the reviews 15 to 1. I need encouragement people. No praise, no writing, simple as that. I can't believe that my friend (btw a girl) thought instead of the tango scene it should've been a making out scene. I don't write that stuff. I don't have anything against it though. Just if I tried it would suck. Enjoy this chapter. And REVIEW damnit. Hey there. I'm so awesome! Ok my selfishness is gone now. Well I've written 2 stories in the past 4 days. They are called and . Yes very long names I know. Well in the former story (that means the first of the 2 mentioned people), Kairi contemplates Roxas's comment and in the latter story I am a fabulous talk show host and in the first chapter I interview Sora, injuring a few audience members in the progress. People, I need more reviews for this story, I only have 30, and that includes the ones from friends that don't really count. The hits for this story outnumber the reviews 15 to 1. I need encouragement people. No praise, no writing, simple as that. I can't believe that my friend (btw a girl) thought instead of the tango scene it should've been a making out scene. I don't write that stuff. I don't have anything against it though. Just if I tried it would suck. Enjoy this chapter. And REVIEW damnit.

**Current Contest Standings/Review Responses:**

**SSS&HC:** 4.5 out of 5 points + 1 bonus point.

**Neassa:** 2 out of 5 points + 1 bonus point.

**Princess Alexa-Ninja Extraordinaire2006:** 3 out of 5 + 1 bonus point, I said guy costumes, I TOLD YOU I DON'T TAKE REQUESTS! (rips spleen out of reviewer)

**Doom ():** No I am not your whore for this evening, nor Cindy's, and I AM NOT GOING TO RIDE A COW DAMNIT!

**NocturnalWriter:** 3.5 out of 5 + 1 bonus point, though you spelled Riku wrong.

**Sora's GuardianAngel:** Good job! 4.5 out of 5 + 1 bonus point, you got Leon's game wrong.

**Harmonize:** 2.5 out of 5 + 1 bonus point.

Okay it looks like **ShadowShapeShifterandHerCat** and **Sora's GuardianAngel** are in the lead, and if nobody else gets a better score, they must battle it out for the host spot! Muhahaha.

Disclaimer: I don't own KH or its characters; alas they belong to people with ethics. Because if I owned KH, things would happen. LOTS AND LOTS of thingsssssss… Muhahaha. But I don't, nor do I own anything else.

Random Note: I'm listening to Polygraph, Right Now! By The Spill Canvas, very good.

Author's Note: I lied. Alexis's hair is GOLD not BLONDE. Sorry for the mix-up.

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Of Muffins and Trigger-Happy Blondes

I awoke from my nap very groggy. I would have slept longer if it hadn't been from a girl's distant whining. Wait. A girl? Oh yeah that blonde girl who hijacked our ship with a freakin' lion friend. I tried to listen to her complaining outside my door.

"Come on Riku, just a bite!"

She was answered with a grumpy voice, apparently still half asleep.

"Alexis, I told you, I don't eat breakfast."

I opened the my door to find said people in the kitchen (A/N: The rooms kinda branch off from a common area, which is the center of the ship, if any of you have play Knights of The Old Republic 2 (don't own), kind of like the layout of the ship you have to use.) Riku was standing (well, more like leaning on one foot), quite groggy, and irritable. His hair was ruffled, which is in fact possible, so I assumed that Alexis had awoken more people than just me. She, in fact, was holding out a bowl of muffins to him, waiting for him to take one.

"Please?" she asked once again.

"No." was his flat answer.

Apparently he struck a nerve, because Alexis pulled out a gun (obviously hers) with her free hand and pointed it at him. He didn't react, maybe because he was being calm or that he was just tired and didn't give a damn.

"Come on, we both know that you wouldn't dare do that." She hesitated, and then lowered the gun. "You're right…please?" she asked, putting on a pout that rivaled Sora's. "Ugh, fine." He took one, and Alexis shrieked with glee. He walked away, acknowledging my presence as he passed me with a nod.

He took a bite then threw it away somewhere.

Well, it would've been away if Sora hadn't chosen to open his bedroom door at that moment.

Splat. No explanation needed there.

"WHAT THE HELL?" he screamed, turning around and reentering his room to clean up.

"Good morning." I said, finally awake.

"Morning!" she said, oblivious to that fact that Riku's muffin was currently being wiped off Sora's face and going down a sink drain. I took a muffin, lets face it, I couldn't say no because she'd kill me.

But enough talk about muffins.

"We arrive at Olympus in an hour." She stated, happily. Apparently a morning person (A/N: GAHH I HATE MORNING PEOPLE I GET SO JEALOUS. Does anyone out there like morning people who aren't one themselves?).

"Nice to know." I replied. "Wheres, Ra-, Re-…"

"Rira?" she finished for me. "Yeah her." Alexis pointed towards a lump on the couch. I nodded. She contemplated for a second. "Hmmm… she should get up."

And without another word unholstered her gun and fired it _near_ the lump without even looking. Rira jumped. High. Very high. After the shock wore off, Rira trotted into the kitchen and got a cup of coffee. Wow, a lioness that drinks coffee.

The author is officially out of his mind. Next thing you know Riku is going to turn Emo or Goth, then turn gay. And Sora will kill the author for getting molested or something along those lines. And we can't have that. The author getting killed I mean. (A/N: Haha just kidding we can't have Sora get molested, or can we? Muhaha.)

"Morning Rira, sleep well?" asked Alexis innocently. What a dumb question. The lioness actually answered her.

WAIT WTF? Lionesses don't talk.

Okay the author is just getting weird now…

"WELL IF A CERTAIN BITCH DIDN'T FIRE A GUN AT ME IT COULDVE GONE BETTER!" (0.o cursing, coffee drinking, talking lioness) was Rira's curt reply.

I decided to leave. I found Goofy asleep in the pilot's chair. It seems that he had put on the auto pilot after driving for 5 hours. I saw Olympus out the window and I awoke Goofy.

Donald was doing some random thing in his room so Goofy went to get him. I walked into Sora's room, he was listening to Dethbed by Alkaline Trio (Not mine, though I wish it was, tis an excellent song (I meant to put tis)). I told him to get ready to land. Alexis and Rira where currently fighting in the kitchen. I had to break up their catfight (haha a lioness in a catfight). Riku was watching T.V. again.

"RIKU THAT'S GOING TO MELT YOUR BRAIN!" I screamed into his ear. "I don't care." Was his response. "Well when your brain starts melting, don't come crawling to me. Wait, you couldn't, because then you'd be brain-dead! Haha. Oh, we're about to arrive." I said.

We got beamed down to Olympus, more specifically the Underworld Entrance. We saw a woman being harassed by heartless dogs.

Awww so cute. DIE DIE DIE heartless!

We shooed them away and Sora helped her up. She told us her name Megara. Blah blah blah Hercules blah blah help me please. The usual. We agreed to help her face Hades or whatever.

We went into the Cave of the Dead and fought some heartless. "DIE DIE DIE FEEL MY WRATH!" cried Alexis as she ran around.

Apparently coffee makes her go trigger-happy. VERY trigger-happy.

She got bored and took out her keyblade.

Wait, WTF? (again!)

She had one that looked like a blue jay. Why I don't know. The blade itself looked like the sky when the sun sets. You know, like a pinkish orange. There are so many keyblades we should create like a society. THEN WE WILL RULE THE WORLD! Nevermind. We got to the Inner Chamber finally. A man in a black coat was running away.

HOLY CRAP IT'S DEMYX!

Haven't mentioned him for six chapters now have I? "Run away!" he cried. Sora was confuzzled. "Okay…" he said. We continued to the Valley of the Dead, which was just a bunch of platforms. We got to Hades' Chamber, and Auron was there! (A/N: I have FFX but I never finished I got as far as when Tidus and Yuna make out in the lake and that's it. Wait maybe further.) Yay Auron. We helped out Auron then ended up running away. We got back to the first room and we had to fight Cerberus.

Rira and Alexis did their limit. This consisted of them bouncing around the room like lunatics.

Cerberus died from the scratches and random hits on the head. This didn't stop the 2 from continuing. Finally they stopped. We were introduced to Auron. He then vanished and we went to see Hercules and Megara. Hercules went to get the Olympus Stone because Sora couldn't use his drive in the Underworld and we were all weak.

Phil decided to put us through some training.

It was really fun.

Rira got to smash things and so did I while Alexis went completely trigger-happy-insano. She wouldn't stop laughing her head off while shattering the vases. When we were done Hercules came back and told us that the Olympus Stone had been stolen.

GASP!

So we went back to the Underworld. We found Demyx and he started talking to himself. We attacked him and he pulled out his Sitar (which is in fact an instrument) and summoned water forms. We killed them all and he ran away, leaving behind the Olympus Stone. We then found Megara imprisoned in a stone rock. Sora freed her (thereby unlocking the Underdome, but more on that in like 7 chapters), and we entered the column of light. We found Pete, who sicked Heartless on us. We fought them, and finally Hercules arrived, having defeated the Hydra. Megara left and we fought Pete with the help of Hercules. Well now it was 8 on 1, so we won in 17 seconds (Alexis had a stopwatch handy). Then Hades mentioned that the Hydra wasn't dead, so we rushed back to the Coliseum and found it destroyed.

We encountered the Hydra and started attacking it. Riku, Sora, Alexis, Rira, and I attacked the single head while Donald and Goofy hit it from afar. Sora cut the first head clean off and 3 more appeared. Sora and I went for the left head, Riku and Alexis got the middle head, and Rira, Goofy, and Donald attacked the right one. After those were cut off 8 appeared. Sora jumped on Pegasus's (Hercules' horse) back and killed all of them. Sora received the Hero's Crest keyblade chain, so he leant me the Star Seeker one he had gotten at Yen Sid's tower. We said our goodbyes and got on the ship.

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A/N: I'm sorry it took so long; I despised writing this chapter for some reason. Reviews would really be appreciated. Oh and I'm going to Niagara Falls this Wednesday (the 5th) and I won't get back until the 12th. I get to stay on the Canadian side of the border! Don't worry I'll still write in a notebook I'm bringing. I relaxed my hair today and last night so now my unruly curly hair is straight! It's so awesome, but it still isn't perfectly straight. Maybe I could drug Riku and clone his hair, his hair is so awesome… Oh well. REVIEW! 


	8. Monkey Boxers!

**Kingdom Insanity 2**

By RedBlackandWhite

**RBW's Quite Apologetic Drabble:** … (Looks out door) are they still there waiting?

Riku: Uhh…yeah.

Sora: You better run.

Kairi: Looks like one has a harpoon gun.

**RBW:** Oh crap. It's only been a month!

Okay I don't even have an excuse really. I got back from Niagara, worked a bit, and then went to the beach, and now I'm here. Oh and I worked on my relatively new story, **A Fostering Relationship**. It was **Riku's Foster Surprise** but I changed my mind.

**Review Responses (the few that I got):**

**Sora's GuardianAngel:** Thanks, my randomness level wasn't all that high though, it was at 10.3 (me and my friend developed a randomness meter, from 1.0 to 15.0, 15.0 being the least random, it's called the Faler-O-Meter).

**Neassa:** Okay I'll accept your late entry.

**breakintoyourheart:** oh crap I don't think we did. Fuck. Canada will still be standing when I'm done with it.

**NocturnalWriter:** Thanks!

**chicken.stir.fry:** psh, who doesn't love muffins? Apparently my Riku. Wait holy crap that came out WAYYYY wrong. I meant the Riku that I control… in my… story…, right…Okay I screwed up there. NEVERMIND THEN!

**Doom ():** Cows? Okay whatever.

**m3thod-mak3r:** Hmm, good point, MORE PEPSI IS NEEDED! Yay dead-pan humor!

**Nari Crow:** Ugh! I hate when authors make themselves the center of the story, well I kinda am but kinda not.

Oh yeah on July 4th I got hit by a firework. Can you say, accident-prone much?

Riku: (laughing at author b/c of previous note)

Sora: (same action)

Kairi: (same action)

Author: (Storming off)

Yeah, well I wrote that previous note 3 weeks ago (I started this chapter on like the 5th), and Riku and Sora will get their share of embarrassment (I think). Oh yeah, just you 2 wait until the later chapters of AFR. You. Just. Wait.

Oh, I beat KH2 on Proud mode and saw the secret movie! It confused me greatly.

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Disclaimer: I have actually signed an agreement with Square Enix and Disney and tomorrow I will officially own KH and its characters. Wait, tomorrow never comes now does it? CRAP!

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The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think. 

-Horace Walpole

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After we got on the ship, Riku and Alexis went into another room to spar (A/N: that means to fight people, not THAT. People today with their dirty little minds…). Don't ask me why it was all of Alexis's idea, she's crazy like that. So I was left with Sora (Donald and Goofy took the job of piloting because the author told them that they aren't important). 

Oh, and Alexis stuck me with Rira.

"So Sora, what shall we do?" I asked, in a very-much Alysa-like mood (A/N: Muhaha if you wanna know what kind of mood that is you have to read my other story, AFR. Call it integrated advertising if you will).

"Oh ummm…I…RIRA GET OFF MY SHOES…don't know." He replied.

"Oh." Was my college-educated response.

"I know! Lets spin the FUN-O-WHEEL!" I said, pulling a giant wheel out of absolutely nowhere. (A/N: Blame the author.)

"Okay, su-wait! Where did this come from!" he cried.

Suspicious look back and forth.

"Nowhere."

"Oh okay."

Sora walked up (well, more like dragged his feet across the floor due to Rira playing with his shoelaces) to the wheel and spun it.

_Whurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…._

_..tick..tick..tick..tick..tick…tick…tick…_

…**Eat like animals**…**Watch CSI marathon**…**Annoy Riku**…**Bake a Pie**…**Annoy Riku**…**Play Truth or Dare (again)**…**Annoy Riku**…**Annoy Riku**…**Dress up like morons**…

The wheel started to slow down…

…**Eat 5 feet of Sour Bubble Tape at once**…….**Annoy Riku**……**Bankrupt** (wtf?)……

The wheel stopped.

Sora's eyes widened.

"NO WAY!" he cried. "There is NO WAY IN HELL we're doing that!"

"Why not!" I asked.

"That's like asking to be brutally murdered!" he said.

"We're doing it! You signed a contract!" I said, pulling out a piece of paper out of my holes of infinite space aka my pockets and showed it too him.

"…blah blah blah…will consent to choice given by Fun-O-Wheel…Signed, Sorah?" he read, looking up.

"Yup."

"This isn't my signature!"

"Yes it is."

"Sora is spelled wrong!"

"Well, apparently someone needs to practice penmanship for their own signature."

"What are you talking about? It says 'Michael wasn't here' in green crayon under it!"

Suspicious look back and forth.

"Okay! Let's go!"

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"Okay, it's unlocked." I said as I opened the door to the bedroom and walked inside, Rira at my heels. 

Sora hesitantly peered inside.

"Michael, I don't think we should be doing this! If Riku sees us in his room he'll murder us, broil us at 450 degrees, and serve us for lunch on overly-priced French rolls and with 5-day-old lettuce!"

"Don't worry, he won't. He's fighting Alexis, remember?" I said, looking back.

"Yeah, but when Alexis gets tired they'll stop. There's no way she'll beat him." Sora said sensibly.

Like I hadn't thought of that.

"Well she wouldn't get tired for a while if, say, someone slipped Japanese energy drink and a caffeine pill into her water, no would she?" I asked.

"No…"

"Then we have at least an hour." I said confidently.

Sora was moderately convinced and walked in behind me.

I walked over to the dresser and started going through it.

"Aren't you going to look around" I asked.

He shook his head and sat on Riku's perfectly made bed. Rira followed suit and played with his hoodie while he sat there.

"No, I'm not touching anything. You help yourself." He said.

"Suit yourself." I said as I opened Riku's drawer of shorts.

* * *

Hmm…shirts, shorts, socks, shoes even, but where is the… "AHA!" 

Oops did I say that out loud.

Sora stared at me as I pulled out my camera (no, not the famous camera, a different one).

"What did you find?"

"Hmm…nothing. Just boxers with monkeys on them."

_Snap Snap Snap Snap Snap._

"Really? Monkeys! Haha." Sniggered Sora, though still remaining on the bed.

I moved from the dresser to the attached bathroom, leaving Sora in the bedroom alone.

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Sora's POV _

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Riku's going to kill us. Hm…I wonder if we get a last meal…I should've had his sandwich in the fridge. It looked sooo good… _

Sora resurface from his thought to the sound of Michael's piercing voice.

"Riku has like 5 shampoo bottles in here!"

"Uh… that's weird."

"Yeah I know. And he's got 3 hair gel products."

"But…but Riku doesn't need hair gel, he's got straight hair."

"…..Weird."

Michael walked out and moved to the nightstand.

He started rummaging through it.

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Regular POV

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"Michael are you quite done yet? We haven't found anything good, if we are looking for anything anyway. I think Alexis and Riku are done fighting. I can't hear any swords clashing. This is an invasion of privacy anyway. Let's go..." 

"A DIARY!"

"WHAT!"

"Riku has a diary!"

"Shut up, no way!"

"I'm serious!"

"Open it!"

"What about 'invasion of privacy'?" Michael said with a smirk.

"Screw that! It's a DIARY. OPEN IT!"

"I can't, it's locked."

"Crap."

"Don't worry, I have a laser cutter." I said, pulling out yet another item out of my pocket.

I picked, well more like melted, the lock on Riku's diary and opened it.

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Sora and I read Riku's diary for the next half hour. 

Nothing really good,

What am I talking about, it was amazing. Though I'm not allowed to talk about it.

I took pictures of every page and we high tailed it out of there.

I was closing Riku's door as Riku and Alexis walked in, the latter sweating a lot.

Riku stared at me.

"What did you do to her? She was bouncing off the wall and didn't want to stop fighting. After an hour she crashed." He yelled.

Alexis just moaned and jumped onto the couch, breathing heavily.

"Riku I'm shocked you think I did something." I said innocently.

"Whatever."

He was going to go to his room (ahhh no) but Goofy came out and said we were at Disney Castle.

* * *

We beamed down and Alexis suddenly felt all better. 

We walked up from the hanger and arrived at the garden.

It was a Heartless tea party!

Yay time for the blood and gore.

Alexis and I just went crazy and set the whole garden ablaze. The heartless burned up, along with all the topiary.

We ran (or in mine and Alexis' case, pranced) up to the Library where we met Minnie (oh joy).

Donald and Goofy ran off and the remaining 5 of us helped Minnie to the audience chamber. We got there and found a gajillion and one heartless bolt towers.

Weeeeee!

Yeah the battle consisted of me flinging swords and Rira and Alexis doing their bouncy thing.

Then we went to the Cornerstone place and got Merlin to give us the door to the Timeless River…

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Next time: 

What does a 20's Riku look like!

o.0

A/N: Okay wow that was a really bad cliffhanger. Sorry it's so short and it sucked. Review? Reviews make the pathetic author happy.

NOTE TO **ShadowShapeShifterandHerCat**, **Sora's Guardian Angel**, and **Neassa**:

You 3 are going to get private messages from me that include a KH test. I hope it'll be hard 'cuz whoever gets the best score or does the best gets to be the Hostess for Ch.10! Okay so look for that.


	9. Brief Confessions of a Lioness

**Kingdom Insanity 2**

By RedBlackandWhite

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RBW's School-Exhausted and Somehow Apologetic Drabble:** Hm, yeah, took a long eternity, more than 2 months, but hey, gotta expect it ya know. Oh, by the way, Michael and Alexis ARE NOT Gary Stus and Mary Sues, they are just original characters the idiot author had to put in there. The story will center around Sora and whatever. I AM NOT one of those lame egotistical writers who need a fictional story to make them feel better about themselves. Anyway, yeah the winner of the contest and host for Whose Line is **ShadowShapshifterandHerCat**. I really considered just having Whose Line this chapter as an "I'm sorry" present for the lapse of updates. I'm going to go on a writing binge for that chapter because you all deserve it, I actually spend time in class thinking up material. So maybe like 3K words. Oh, and there's an interesting twist with this chapter. 

(Looks at readers, who are all glaring.)

Ohhhhhhkayy…..just gonna hide behind Riku here….

(Hides behind Riku, who gives him the 'yeah, your on your own man' look and walks away)

(Readers ready their automatic weapons)

Did I answer all the reviews separately? I can't remember.

**Disclaimer: **The producer of this work formally known as the Author does not own Kingdom Hearts or it's characters. Damn.

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Confessions from a Lioness

…_and then she'll get it, that overprotective idiot of a friend Ale…WOAH who's that??? Huh? I'M NARRATING THE NEXT CHAPTER!?!?!??! Damn author I'm going to kill him._

Hi. Rira here. Apparently I'm the commentator for this evening. Where did we last leave off? Oh yes, the jump to that black and white world. Well…

When the old man in the pointy hat (which by the way looked yummy) summoned the door, I was confused to say the least. I usually am, because nobody bothers to tell me anything. Okay so I'm a different species. That doesn't mean you can't tell me stuff. The duck and the dog get told stuff. LIONESS RIGHTS HERE!

Anyway, Alexis told me to jump in, so I did. After a minute of twirling through a vortex of zero-gravity (which I took complete advantage of to practice acrobatics), we landed in a gray expanse of landscape that reeked of 1930's classic animation.

I looked over at my faithful blonde companion, and she had become a stick figure with a large head (larger than usual I mean, but don't tell her I said that). Scratch that, she wasn't a blonde anymore, more like a light grey.

I turned only to find out that the others and Sora were stick-ified too! That was okay though because he's still amazing anyway. His hair was untouched. That stuff is impenetrable because I CALLED IT.

I looked over at the duck and the dog and they looked even more weird than usual. The kid that was here before us, umm…Michael! Yeah that's his name, like I said I get told nothing. He was pretty much the same just stick arms and legs. He's weird.

And then there was the moody one, Riku. He had the most significant changes. Oh significant? I didn't know I knew that word. Sounds funny. Like improbable. Improbab-bab-bab-bab-…bable. Hehe. Oh, sorry.

Riku was all…moody. The black and white helped his moodiness. He was less thin than the others, because he was bulkier than the others before. His hair was all long and soft, like yarn. I like yarn.

* * *

Anyway, this big dog thing came near us, _hiss_. I hate dogs. He came up to us and Sora was all "get him!" so we did. I'll tell you, seven on one is not a fair fight. We destroyed him. Afterwords, Sora figured out that he wasn't the one we were looking for. Oops. The big dog ran away. Hehe. 

The duck found a few little window frames that turned out to be movies! I love movies.

Afterwords we jumped through the windows and they brought us to all these places where we had to fight the Truffles. What??? Those things with the hearts on them that always annoy us, I call them Truffles. They remind me of chocolate. They don't taste like chocolate though, no no, trust me I tried. Bleck. Bad chocolate.

The first place was a little place in the sky, all skeletony and wobbly. Lex called it a _building_. Sounds like a type of sandwhich. We fought all types of Truffly chocolates and saw this mouse with BIG ears. Really big. I mean you could put entire cakes inside them. MMMmmmm, cake. After that, we went to a burning building, where we fought Truffles on wheels.

After that, we went to what looked like a mini city.

RAWR ALL FEAR THE GINORMOUS RIRA MUHAHAHAHHA.

More Truffly evil. More of the Mr. Cake-Ears.

Then a little house with flying furniture. More evil. More mice.

No more windows. Sora led us to a river.

EWWWW no water. No dogs. No watery dogs.

Wait, there were TWO dogs. What is, this some kind cornucopia of canines? Die alliteration die.

We fought the dog with the rad clothes and finally left the grey world for the big castle place.

* * *

Leaving that world, we got on the Gummi ship (which DOES NOT taste like Gummy worms, I tried that too) and jettisoned off onto the next world that sadly needs liberation by a group of teenagers, a lioness, a dog, and a duck. 

I got the position of gunner this time, by some odd coincidence that the others were too busy restraining Lex and that other kid from getting to the laser to claim it themselves. Big sigh from the trigger happy teenagers.

**BAM! BAM! BAM! BOOM! WURRRRRR! ZAP! POW! GOLDFISH! **... programming error on that last one I'm sure. Anyway, lasers are funnn. They get rid of pent-up lioness anger. Die Truffle ships die.

Okay enough R-rated chocolate bloodshed.

I left the bridge and went to the living area. Alexis was stuffing her face AGAIN. She eats too much. And I thought I was the carnivorous mammal here.

* * *

Sora came in from the hot tub (hot tub on a ship, something isn't right about that). EEP DRIPPING WET SORA HAIR. Drool. More drool. Hoover Dam unleashed levees drool. 

Okay so we're different species but that's still a FINE slice of (enter certain nouns here) there.

Sora noticed my drool and was puzzled (sexy….). He looked at Alexis and she was…BLUSHING?!?!

That backstabber! HES MINE! I didn't know she got all red around him. Grrr… Someone is going to find their necklace cut in half…

After the evil contemplation the duck announced our arrival at the next world (how convenient), Port Royal.

* * *

A/N: Many apologies for the shortness. INTERLUDE NEXT!! I promise a smashing show for you all! 

Ideas welcome.

-RBW-

* * *

Review with love. 


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